They sat on her bed that was covered in black satin sheets. She was in her embroidered antique kimono and wearing her lace gloves, writing songs. The silk curtains stayed shut, the mirrored ball scattering rainbows onto the walls. Then their bodies were smoke and color and music. Their eyes were always damp with love now, their skin was soaked with the scent of fire and roses.
He lit his cigarette, knowing it wasn’t right when his lungs caught fire in a different way this time. Anything could be healed with Chinese herbal tea, chunks of gnarled ginger, tofu sunk in fish broth. Crystals soaked in salt water to purify them, to absorb the illnesses. No doctors, unnatural healing was not to be mentioned. Roaming the sky, stars shooting across, shooting up after shows.
When they opened his lungs they found the blackness love could not cure.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
Awww that's sad. It kinda makes me thing that I should maybe stop smoking.....maybe.
this is really really really goood baby sammo! but you NEEDDDD to write about happy things =] iloveyouuuu!
i REALLY like this. its completley symbolic. everything you say could be interperted as this huge idea.
haha.
GOOD JOB!!:D
sam this is sad, but i really like it. its really descriptive and emotional. good jobbbb! and i agree with kelly make something happy SAM!
While I applaud you for branching out from the usual one trick routine; I feel I must say, this isn't absolute crap. It's fairly well written and doesn't have the same God-awful whimpering that seems to mark all your other work, and I love the fact that the hippie dies in misery. I think this could really have worked better as a full length piece rather than a micro-fiction, this format just leaves so much unsaid. Good work, a few more like this and I'll upgrade you from god-awful to just plain bad, who knows, one day you may even be adequate. Also, your little friends need to stop adding random letters to words and typing in caps lock, THIIIIIS ISSSSSSN'T HELLLPPPFUL.
Yes Kat, you should quit smoking.
Well done Sam. What a well crafted ending: "When they opened his lungs they found the blackness love could not cure."
Very contemporary theme-the search for alternative healing...some editing to smooth out some awkward sentences perhaps if you are considering it for you portfolio.
Great job.
this is so good sam! but its really really sad. i like how you actually focused on the details, but it was still kind of vague. idk, im a bad critic, i just know it was good <3
Post a Comment