FADE IN ON: CLASSROOM - DAY
Anna, a young, high school girl, sits in her desk staring into space, her face is entirely blank of emotion. Sounds of chatter, whispers and talking give the idea of a free period or a study hall.
A cell phone rings with a thrashing guitar ring tone. Anna answers the phone.
ANNA (Emotionless)
Hello?
VOICE
Anna, this is Dad. I just wanted to tell you I’m so proud of you, and that I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to graduation. Maybe next time sweetheart.
The phone signals that there is another call. Anna clicks over without saying anything to her father.
CUT TO: BEDROOM – NIGHT
The bedroom is dark, lit only by a few candles and the moonlight that is bathing the carpet through the open window.
Anna sits on the bed next to her boyfriend, Jason, in his boxers, wearing a black tank top and white underwear.
JASON
I cheated on you last weekend.
Anna doesn’t say anything, but leans forward and kisses his neck.
JASON
We were both so wasted from that party at Derrick’s place, and we just started going at each other in his bedroom.
Anna kisses him softly on the lips.
She pushes off the bed and walks over to the door and shuts it, and stands there emotionless in front of the white door.
CUT TO: BATHROOM – NIGHT
Anna’s face stands out against the white door. Soft candle light flickers off her eyes. She stands in a towel looking at her self in the bathroom mirror. She turns on the hot water and starts to fill the tub. The towel drops to her feet and she enters the tub. Anna lays in the bath, her eyes slowly closing.
FADE TO: ELEMENTARY SCHOOL HALLWAY – DAY
The school is empty with the exception of a few kids who are waiting to picked up by their parents.Signs made by the younger students announce an upcoming Easter Pagent, are littered across the walls and ground.
Anna stands in the hallway, looking at her surroundings. She spots an open classroom and walks towards it. She stands in the doorway and looks in.
CUT TO: ELEMENTARY SCHOOL CLASSROOM – DAY
Mr. Perkins, a man in his mid-thirties, already balding, leans on the front of his desk, talking to one of his student, Young Anna.
PERKINS
Now, Anna, we both know that you haven’t been doing too well in class lately. Your test scores have dropped a bit, and you haven’t been turning in any homework.
He glances at his grade book.
PERKINS
And it looks like you may have to be held back. The only thing that could help you now is if you did a little extra credit work after school and hope that it’s good enough for me to pass you.
Perkins leans forward and gets down on Anna’s level, and grins.
PERKINS (Softly)
But, you can’t tell anyone about this ever, or we could both get into a lot of trouble.
Young Anna nods.
VOICE
How could you let him do that to me?
Anna turns to see her younger self standing there, her hair messy and her school dress wrinkled and miss buttoned.
YOUNG ANNA
Why did you let Mr. Perkins do that to me, Anna? Why?
ANNA
I didn’t mean for…
Her cell phone rings.
She stands there looking at Young Anna, to the cell phone, back to Young Anna. Young Anna looks at the cell phone. Tears run down Anna’s cheek as the phone continues to ring.
CUT TO:
BATHROOM – NIGHT
Someone knocks on the bathroom door.
Blood drips into a small puddle on the white bathroom tile from a slender hand.
MOTHER
Anna, be careful not to fall asleep in there again. It’s too easy to drown in that damn tub.
FADE OUT
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5 comments:
....Jesus Christ......
um yeah so im convinced that you might need some help. this is really interesting though and not to mention extremely depressing but i like it <3333
WOWWW SAM i think you might need some therapy.. =] but other than that, good job on the most depressing screenplay ever written! lol
Well now. That was good. I like the nifty little mental rupture flashback bit, but l really wish you'd used it a little more than you did. Make it into a full dialogue between the two, have a whole argument going about whether she should or shouldn't snuff it. Maybe let her confront that teacher through hallucination. I also kinda wish something a little more had happened, this is a good set-up or conclusion but it's not much as a stand alone piece. I like the image presented by the blood in that last bit, I think that could be a really cool image. I'd really like something cooler to happen though. Also, something different needs to happen in that bedroom exchange with Anna and Jason. And shouldn't Anna's younger self simply turn to talk to Anna and not appear out of nowhere behind grown-up Anna? And don't cut into the classroom, I'd suggest you stay tight on the back of Anna's head as she walks into the classroom to watch young Anna in her memory, than let her watch the memory unfold, than have young Anna turn and confront the previously unnoticed older Anna. And don't let the scene get interupted by the cell phone, that's such a fuckin' cop out, bring it to a real conclusion. Or just have it interupted by the sound of a bath-tub running over, which snaps us back to the present there we see water running out over that white time floor and we pan the length of the bath-tub close up, about half-way down the length we start to see little bits of blood swirling about in the water until eventually was see her blood-drenched hand (but nothing above the elbow, and no blood above the wrist) hanging about an inch off the floor with blood dripping off each fingertip. I think that's about everything that comes to mind right now but I might think of some more later.
Powerful plot Sam. I agree with Johannes in that this has tremendous potential were it to be developed as a full length screenplay. You tell a whole story in a few scenes here.
I guess if you were to pursue this, would you end it the same way. The question becomes, if so, would anyone want to go see it? Would that matter to you as an artist?
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